Do any of these sound familiar? Perfectionists, like high achievers, tend to set high goals and work hard toward them. Perfectionists will accept nothing less than perfection. Perfectionists are more critical of themselves and others than high achievers.
While high achievers take pride in their accomplishments and tend to be supportive of others, perfectionists tend to spot mistakes and imperfections. They hone in on imperfections and have trouble seeing anything else. High achievers tend to be pulled toward their goals and by a desire to achieve them. They are happy with any steps made in the right direction.
Perfectionists, on the other hand, tend to be pushed toward their goals by a fear of not reaching them and see anything less than a perfectly met goal as a failure. While high achievers can set their goals high, perhaps enjoying the fun of going a little further once goals are reached, perfectionists often set their initial goals out of reach.
High achievers tend to be happier and more successful than perfectionists in the pursuit of their goals. High achievers can enjoy the process of chasing a goal as much or more than the actual reaching of the goal itself. Conversely, perfectionists see the goal and nothing else. Perfectionists are much less happy and easygoing than high achievers.
While high achievers are able to bounce back fairly easily from disappointment, perfectionists tend to beat themselves up much more and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations go unmet. Perfectionists are also much more afraid to fail than are high achievers. Because they place so much stock in results and become so disappointed by anything less than perfection, failure becomes a very scary prospect.
And, since anything less than perfection is seen as failure, perfectionists sometimes put off things until the last minute. It seems paradoxical that perfectionists would be prone to procrastination , as that trait can be detrimental to productivity, but perfectionism and procrastination do tend to go hand in hand. This is because, fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they become immobilized and fail to do anything at all.
Procrastination can lead to greater feelings of failure, further perpetuating a vicious and paralyzing cycle. Because a less-than-perfect performance is so painful and scary to perfectionists, they tend to take constructive criticism defensively, while high achievers can see criticism as valuable information to help their future performance.
High achievers tend to have equally high esteem; not so with perfectionists. Even when your goal is complete and results in success, you believe you could and should have done it better. Perfectionists don't acknowledge their wins to the extent of feeling the joy and satisfaction of a job well done. Instead, they find the flaws in how they or others executed the project. There is always something wrong, even though the outcome is exactly what they wanted. While an individual with a healthy mindset allows for mistakes, an extreme perfectionist doesn't forgive their mistakes.
Instead of viewing them as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, even stupid, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing all productivity. Perfectionists are intensely afraid of being judged by others. They often want the outside world to view them, not only as being perfect, but making perfection easy.
Even when your world is a disaster zone, you put up a front to lead others to think it's all just perfect. Perfectionists like to stick with what they know. If you're presented with an opportunity that means you'll have to develop more skills or move outside of your comfort zone, you're likely to turn it down.
You're afraid that you're not smart enough to tackle a new learning curve and will be seen as a failure or let someone down. Personality and positive qualities like, honesty, compassion, humor, etc. It's not enough to be a wonderful person, you must be a perfectly wonderful person. You don't allow others to see your flaws and most likely you talk about your achievements, but never your failures. Perfectionists cope well in a low-stress environment, so as long as nothing challenges you you're fine.
The other goal that the development of perfectionism helps the child to achieve is to hide his defects from others. After all if he did everything perfectly then no one will dig behind his wall of perfectionism to unfold his well hidden defects.
In the Solid Self confidence program i said that perfectionists feel less confident with each task they do because of believing that unless they do the task perfectly they can't be worthy people. Because we don't live in a prefect world people who developed perfectionism face continues disappointments that ruins their mood and life.
If you have developed perfectionism then don't worry there is a cure. In order to get rid of perfectionism you must develop self confidence, deal with your feelings of inferiority and fix your beliefs about life by understanding that perfection is not always necessary.
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